All Things
by troyalg
Summary: Breaking Dawn EPOV during Bella's change. I know this exact scenario has been done to death, but it came to me and I had to write it down. It focuses on Carlisle's influence on Edward. Hope you enjoy it.


I stroked Bella's warm hand, alone. I had pushed all other's thoughts into a dull static. Normally this wouldn't be easy, but the only people here were Rosalie, whose thoughts were consumed with the baby, and Jacob, whose thoughts I preferred not to hear. More importantly, I would allow nothing to take my attention from the silent form of my wife.

I sat focusing all my attention on my Bella, praying I had done enough. Praying was not something I've done much in my lifetime. A few times at Carlisle's request I had accompanied him in prayer, which could hardly have counted, seeing as how I barely joined in, if it all. Yet, I stood in awe of Carlisle's faith, not only in God, but also in his family and humanity in general. I truly believe my family as individuals didn't stand a chance. Simply having Carlisle around made vampirism seem a little less damnable. Still, how could this be part of a greater plan?

As usual, when I had a problem, Carlisle was at the forefront of my thoughts. He'd always been patient with me, as with everyone, but I knew we shared a connection different and deeper than with the others. He was always trying to teach me, the ever-unwilling pupil. Once, when it had just been him and I, I had screamed at him in anger about the abomination that I was. He simply looked at me and recited, "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

At each turning point in our lives, he had always given me a bit of himself to help me adjust. When Esme joined us, I sat with him in the room during her change. I couldn't reconcile what her presence was going to bring. Only months later, she was already Carlisle's wife and, for all intents and purposes, my mother. I'd know I'd had a mother once, years before, but my memory held nothing tangible of the experience. Esme was Carlisle's perfect mate; she matched him in compassion and love. I, however, couldn't understand her unwavering love, compassion, and understanding for me, or for the child she had lost.

As I sat pondering this, alone in the study, Carlisle approached. With him, my ability seemed contagious; he could always read me. Without any prologue or introduction, Carlisle proceeded into the story of the woman whose child had been stolen. When the case was presented before Solomon, he suggested the baby be split in two, half given to the woman claiming to be the mother and half given to the possessor of the child. The possessor agreed. The accuser, though, stated that she'd be willing to give the child up rather than see it killed. Solomon the Wise discerned her to be the real mother because mothers would do anything to prevent their children from coming to harm. I, of course, knew this only too well now. Bella had shown this very instinct.

I had wanted to save Bella the moment I realized what I had done. Naturally, my stubborn wife wouldn't let me. She'd had no idea what she was in for, but it didn't even matter. The monster was killing her from the inside and she wouldn't let us remove the problem. One operation and it was done. Instead, we watching in horror as her life slowly drained away.

* * *

With Rosalie, who, if it were possible, had a harder time with the change than I did, Carlisle sat me down and told me about a shepherd. The shepherd had one hundred sheep, but one had wandered off. That shepherd left the ninety-nine to find the one, and finding it, rejoiced more in its salvation than he did in the knowledge that the ninety-nine had always been safe. Rosalie would adjust, and when she did, we would all be better and more whole for it.

* * *

I leaned over to kiss her cheek. "God, please don't take my Bella." I knew better than to bargain. "The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away." I couldn't understand if He had given me Bella why He would take her when we finally had everything we'd ever wanted.

I didn't know how long I'd been sitting here, my sense of time non-important. It couldn't have been long because the rest of the family still had not returned. However, I finally heard something other than my own thoughts and Bella's heartbeat. Rosalie had entered the room. I'd pushed her thoughts far enough away she actually surprised me. Without a word, verbal or otherwise, she pushed Renesmee into my arms.

I didn't want to look. She almost killed her mother. The baby wiggled and sighed, and I couldn't put it off any longer. I was instantly in awe. "She's warm," I muttered. Chuckling at my inefficiencies Rosalie left the room. I reached out to touch Renesmee's cheek and it was soft. Seeing the mop on her head made me gasped. I ran my hand through her hair, my hair. I finally realized what Bella had always known; I had almost killed a part of myself. I ran a finger lightly down her arm, taking in the warmth. When I reached her tiny fingers, they wrapped around mine with a strength I never would have thought possible. My eyes were drawn to her face again as her yawn was replaced with a small smile, followed by her eyes popping open. I met an intense stare of rich, deep brown. I could feel my brow furrow and, if my heart were able to beat, it would have stopped. I had almost killed a part of Bella.

I continued to sit with one hand holding my wife–her hand was slowly getting colder, a good sign. My other hand was holding my daughter. I'm not sure I'll ever completely comprehend this idea: my daughter. She was not a monster. Renesmee had no fault in her whatsoever. I had tried to put guilt on my unborn child, tried to punish her for the sins of her father. I'd tried to exchange her life for Bella's. I had condemned her to death. Hadn't I already learned this lesson?

After I had returned to Carlisle, I realized God had given him the ability to forgive "seventy times seven." In all the years since, Carlisle has never once mentioned my rebellion as something negative. It is what it is. When I'd returned, he had tried to give me some of his age-old wisdom, but I would have none of it. I could already hear the parable of the prodigal son in his thoughts. I had not deserved forgiveness then, let alone any kind of celebratory gesture. I had chosen to take lives I deemed unworthy. It was not something for which I could forgive myself, and now I could have so easily done the same to my daughter.

* * *

Only as I sat trying to rest my mind, did I recognize more voices crowding into my head. I could hear my family's cautionary thoughts and obvious movements on the stairs. Knowing they could hear me, I said, "You can come in." All six slowly and quietly poured through the door.

Esme was the first to approach. "May I?"

"Of course, grandma." I had managed to find a glimmer of hope in our situation. Esme beamed as she carefully held Renesmee, walking her to the impatient crowd.

My imperfections were again accentuated. I had almost killed a part of my family. Aunt, Uncle, Grandpa, Grandma; all roles which would have been left unfulfilled if I'd had my way. Bella was my light. How could I not follow her? She obviously had known what she was doing. Her faith in Renesmee and myself could move mountains. Well, it at least stopped a vampire.

I heard Carlisle's thoughts before I felt his hand on my shoulder. _'Well done, my son.'_ He then proceeded to check Bella's vitals and confirm all was well. '_If you can wait, the stone should roll away in three days.'_

All I could do was nod.

Esme was the first to utter anything not related to Renesmee, "Let's give Edward some space." Carlisle agreed and started motioning everyone to the door.

Alice rushed over to give Bella a kiss on the cheek and offer me a small smile. _'We will be close if you need us, Edward.'_

"Thank you," I said. Then before Alice could steal my daughter away, I asked if they'd leave her a bit longer.

Once Alice had placed her back in my arm and left the room, Renesmee reached up and placed her warm hand on my cheek. Though I didn't need the extra effort to hear her thoughts, I relished the sensation. Her gift was magnificent. Not only could she show me her thought, but her intention. She was asking a question.

"Mommy," I said in response to her memory of Bella. Rosalie had already made 'Daddy' known to her. Renesmee's hand warmed my face once more. This time in succession she showed me Bella and myself over and over. "Yes, Mommy and Daddy. Mommy and Daddy love each other, and they both love you. Neither of those facts will ever change." Bella's face again, another question laced with desire. "Mommy can't hold you right now, but I know she really wants to. Soon mommy will wake up, I promise." _'God, please let it be true.'_

Renesmee yawned, and once more before her eyes closed, her hand caressed my cheek. _'I love you, Daddy.' _

There was one monster in this room, except for some unfathomable reason he was being given a second chance, again. My heart now belonged to two beautiful girls.

I looked up at Bella's unmoving features, wishing she could experience Renesmee and reap the fruits of her labors. As I stared, I was reminded of Emmett. When Carlisle had changed him, the situation was much the same. Emmett's body was in shreds from the mauling. Carlisle truly wanted to save him, but didn't want to give Rosalie false hope. I had gone to Carlisle's office to sit with him so he wouldn't be alone. After a while of silence, he confided his hope in me with the tale of a Roman centurion who asked Jesus to save his servant. When Jesus accepted and asked to see, the centurion replied that he was not worthy for Him to enter his home, and he knew Jesus had only to pronounce his servant well and it would be done. Jesus marveled at the centurion's faith and pronounced the servant healed. When the centurion went home, he found his servant whole.

* * *

I let myself listen to the thoughts downstairs and finally heard Jacob. It is true I had many times been eager to remove a body part or two from the dog, and never as much as in that moment. He had imprinted on my baby. The boy who had once tried to steal my Bella had now triumphed in stealing my daughter. I seethed with anger. I had just met her and he was taking her away.

I looked down at my less-than-one-day-old child and, to my surprise, the greatest revelation of the day hit me so hard I stopped breathing. I felt pain where my heart is. I had almost killed a part of Jacob Black. Why should Jacob's pain bother me the most? The part of him, which I had almost destroyed, equaled the part of myself that was Bella.

I can't live without Bella. I know because I tried. Jacob would never be able to live without Renesmee. I could wish otherwise, but it was true, Bella was mine and Renesmee was Jacob's – forever.

I could hear Jacob's longing, so I quietly called Carlisle up, knowing he could be diplomatic.

_'You are alright with this?'_

"Do I have a choice?" I relinquished my daughter, for now, to the care of my father. I smiled for once, "He can deal with Bella when she wakes up."

Just before leaving, Carlisle called me, "Edward?" I turned to look at him. He usually spoke to me aloud for one of two reasons: courtesy to others and for emphasis. No one else coherent was in the room. "I told you so." He smiled and shut the door behind himself.

I was baffled. His thoughts were guarded with Renesmee and he purposely left me confused. My thoughts abruptly turned to Alice and Jasper. They had bewildered the whole family the day they showed up on our doorstep. I could have heard them coming, had I been home at the time. I later assumed Alice had planned it that way. Returning from my hunting excursion, I was met with two new minds to discern. Jasper, as always, was reserved, his thoughts of unease and intrusion looping loudly in his mind, and Alice, as always, was overjoyed and taking things into her own hands. She had already staked my room as her own. There was no time to be indifferent, seeing as how she hugged every one of us as we met her.

Later, when I voiced my concerns with Jasper's new, imposed diet and his lack of restraint, Carlisle quoted to me, "'They that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.' We will teach him, Edward. We've all had to learn and it won't be easy, but when was it ever?" I knew I was being hypocritical, but change has never come easy for me.

With a resigned sigh I asked, "And Alice?"

Again Carlisle quoted, "'Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.' She is full of love, Edward. She can only be good for this family. They are both part of this family now, and I, personally, couldn't be happier." He met my stare, "Edward, I was alone a long time. I love my family."

And though I don't think I let him know enough, I said, "We love you, Carlisle."

Before I could leave his office, he stopped me with a sly smile, _'Also, patience is a virtue.' _Needless to say, we've all become incredibly virtuous around Alice.

* * *

I sat, still holding Bella's hand, hearing the encouragement from my family. I needed to have the faith of Carlisle and the patience of Job right now. In all my life before and the unknown span of time awaiting me, these were going to be the longest three days ever. I'd hated myself for so long, cursing my being and unnatural existence. I'd never stopped to count my blessings, even when they stared me right in the face. Carlisle's faith, hope, and love; my family's constant support when I did something right and righteous scolding when I didn't; my wife who, only God knows why, loves me in spite of myself and who has made me whole for eternity; and my daughter, the one blessing I truly thought was unattainable.

_'Thank you.'_

Only now it wasn't Bella I was thanking for loving me; it wasn't her I was thanking for making me the man I am. God had given me Bella and Renesmee; God had given me my family; God had given me Carlisle. _'I told you so,'_ suddenly came back to me. Though vampires truly never forget, I was remembering words I had pushed into oblivion: the advice Carlisle had given me the day I met my Bella. I was completely distraught, consumed with rage, knowing I almost had taken a human life. An insignificant stranger had possessed me like the demon I believed myself to be.

Carlisle handed me his keys and I turned to go. I was fleeing like a coward to safety. "Edward," as I reached his office door he emphasized softly, "All things work together for good."

_finis_

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_A/N: This is for all those who are like me and would be curious about the quotes and parables in the story. All are from the Bible, except, of course, "Patience is a virtue." I'm a Christian so I liked the idea, and I felt like it was in Carlisle's character, so I'm not really changing him. In addition, all are King James Version quotes, seeing as how it was published in the early 17__th__ century, not long before Carlisle was born._

_1. "O death, where is thy victory? O grave, where is thy victory?" – I Corinthians 15:55_

_2 .Esme's story: Solomon and the stolen child – I Kings 3:16-28_

_3. Rosalie's story: Lost sheep – Matthew 18:12-13 & Luke 15:3-7_

_4. "Seventy times seven" – Matthew 18:21-22_

_5. Edward's story: The prodigal son – Luke 15:11-32_

_6. '__If you can wait, the stone should roll away in three days.' – Not a direct quote, this of course is a reference to Jesus' resurrection from the dead after three days. A fitting example for a vampire. _

_7. Emmett's story: The Roman centurion – Matthew 8:5-13 & Luke 7:1-10_

_8. Jasper's quote: "They that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick." – Matthew 9:12, Mark 2:17, & Luke 5:31 (this one is the exact quote)_

_9. Alice's quote: "Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away." – Matthew 5:42 (exact quote) & Luke 6:30_

_10. Patience is a virtue. – Obviously, this is not a Biblical quote. I did a search and found people saying it is an Irish proverb and others saying it is a Chinese proverb, but the most solid sounding facts seem to link the phrase to Piers Plowman in the late 14__th__ century._

_11. "All things work together for good." – Romans 8:28. The full verse is, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."_


End file.
